Just thoughts...

Its been a hot minute since I've blogged. I've been on an emotional rollercoaster lately. When it comes to God, and my current & future life, I just want to make the right decisions. In the past, I've made so many wrong ones by stepping out before I was given permission to by him, and its like I'm afraid to do that now. I know that as Christians, we shouldn't have that "A" word (afraid) or the "F" word (fear) in our vocabularies because they are both of the enemy. Welllllllll, truth be told, I do sometimes get afraid and fear the unknown. I'm afraid that if I don't consult God on some major decisions I need to make that I will fall later, and I also fear what I don't know when it comes to my future decisions as well sometimes. I've also been feeling as if I'm "paralyzed" and I'm just "stuck" in the same body, doing the same things, and thinking the same things. Its like I want a new something, but I don't know what it is!!!! Because of my "fear" of the unknown, I sometimes don't make the first step towards doing something different. I also feel myself being comfortable and even complacent with where I am in my life right now often AND THAT IS NOT COOL! I don't want to be complacent- meaning staying in the same spot/ways/attitude etc. forever. I know a change must come soon, but it is going to take discipline, work, & effort on my part! The majority of the situations I am in comes from ME, and though I know this, I sometimes don't want to admit it. I'm getting in the habit of being totally and completely REAL with God by telling him EXACTLY how I feel- whether mad, sad, disappointed, afraid, happy, joyful.....whatever. I know things are already better! Though I've failed God many times, his mercy endures forever....and for that, I'm GRATEFUL! These are just my current thoughts.....