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Thursday, April 18, 2013

Some things they won't tell you about being a "CHRISTIAN"

I was led to make this post for the one person that "thought" everyday being a Christian would be all good. Now, before people get all deep, critical, and judgmental, I do understand that deciding to follow Christ is the absolute BEST decision one could ever make because its in him that we have the victory & new life, but if we can be honest about this thing (Christian walk), everyday isn't peachy! I can only speak for myself on this though and this post is not meant to discourage anyone for being a Christian but the truth is, God never said it would be easy but he did promise It would be WORTH IT! Let me tell you a little about myself first.....
 
There have been mannnnny days I've wanted to give up and call it quits. Yep, I know Jesus died a gruesome, painful, sinner's death on the cross though he was innocent. Yep, I know that Jesus is my help, my strength, and my redeemer, and yep, I know that aside from him I can do and am nothing. I totally understand that, but as a Christian there are going to be days you don't feel like praising God, you don't feel like reading your Bible, fasting, praying, helping others, and serving in ministry. There are going to be times when you just want to revert back to your old self and have an "I don't care attitude" when it comes to things and people. You're going to be hurt, you're going to feel pain, and you're going to get weary sometimes. There are also going to be times where you may question God and even doubt that he is in fact real and hearing all that "encouraging God talk" may even make you angry because you don't want to hear it. You may say, "Lady/Sir, you don't understand what I'm really going through so please give me 50ft"....or you may give folks who try to motivate you to continue going forward the "blank stare". Its easy to say BE ENCOURAGED, ALL IS WELL, PERK UP, etc. when everything is going good, but what about those times when all hell has broken loose? Its not so easy to cheer up & smile when everything seems to be crumbling.  I know ALL about it because I've BEEN there.
 
If you follow me on Facebook, you may deem me as an encourager, a motivator, a supporter, and a woman that is truly after God's own heart....at which I AM all of those things and more, but sometimes even the encourager needs encouraging. I can recall on numerous occasions where I would give an encouraging word to others to help them out of their situations but in turn could not take in those same words for my own life. I can even remember encouraging others while crying behind the computer screen because I was struggling and hurting so bad. And guess what? I'M A CHRISTIAN!!!!!
 
But the beauty behind it all is that God is STILL good! When you decide to live righteously just as Christ did, you have to shoulder your cross and keep it moving. You won't feel like smiling everyday and there will be days where you don't even want to get out of your bed, BUT you must move forward! Living for Jesus is one of the absolute best decisions you could ever make but it comes with a price. Knowing that fighting on this battlefield & enduring the struggles will bring eternal life in the end is SO SO SO worth it! God loves us so much and he understands that we get weary, tired, and discouraged, but he is always there to lift us up. You couldn't have made a better decision to follow God but just know that it won't be easy. Its not complicated, but its not exactly easy either. Again, this post isn't to scare off or discourage anyone from becoming a Christian because the rewards for doing so are absolutely amazing, but please understand that on this journey you will encounter tests & trials, tears & discouragement, anger & so many other emotions.....ALL for the Glory of God!!!!!
 
If you are that ONE person this post is for, then please do not give up. I know its rough, I know it gets hard, and I know you may feel being a Christian isn't worth it (trust me, I've been there), but you must hang in there and stay focused on the "bigger picture". Jesus died so that you may have LIFE and have it more abundantly. Yep, it may not have worked out according to how you would have liked but that doesn't mean God is ignoring you or purposely wants to send you through hell. He allows things to happen in our lives to prepare us for the next level and to build and strengthen our integrity, our faith, and our character. So before you decide to permanently turn back to your old self, just count the cost. When we are outside of the will of God, destruction awaits us and we can't afford to be destroyed. Living for Jesus is such a rewarding decision but one that we must understand as well.
 
God is soooo good and I thank him daily. Lord knows it gets rough sometimes but I'm reminded of his never ending love for me and that helps get me through my darkest days. I won't give up and I won't give in because its all a part of the journey and I now understand that suffering for Christ's sake now means that I'll reign with him later!!!! Hallelujah! All I want to hear in the end is WELL DONE!!!!!! BE ENCOURAGED guys!
 
~Nina
 


Monday, April 8, 2013

GRATITUDE JOURNAL: The "Turn Around"

Today, I'm grateful for the "TURN AROUND". I made a status earlier on FB stating this and I asked others what they were grateful for today. Some of the responses included Grace & Mercy, The Breath of Life & Forgiveness, Traveling Grace, etc. and I couldn't agree more with those that responded. Being grateful for the "TURN AROUND" simply means that I'm grateful for NEWNESS! God makes ALL things new. When something is turned around, then it means it heads in the opposite direction than which it originally was going. If you were low, now you've been raised! If you were broken, now you're put back together! Bills are paid! Debt erased! Families put back together! New job opportunities & promotions! Businesses opened! Acceptance into school! Addictions broken! Peace! Freedom!, etc. THAT'S what the turn around is all about and I'm soooo grateful for it!
 
 
What are you grateful for today?
 
~Nina
 

Wednesday, April 3, 2013

GUEST BLOGGER: Jewel Moore (Queen B')


 
 
QUEEN B'
" “Princesses grow up JUST to be me; I’m the woman with a plan…I AM the QUEEN B!” ~BeJeweled

Let’s start with something that I like to call the “cross-ed words” puzzle; somewhere, we may have gotten some words “crossed up” ...so let’s connect the words to their true meanings. I know, I know! If you are the “head b*tch,” you’ve already studied this…AND have taught it to those you’re training to be just like you. Let’s take a look anyway:

Words to know:

B*tch- the female of the dog; a lustful or wicked woman.

B*tch is also a word used by some women as a term of endearment to other women.

Endearment- means to flatter, compliment or show love to.

Woman- an adult female person.

Lady- an adult female person who is superior, gracious and well spoken.

Man-an adult male human.

Grown man- an adult male who has reached a level of development in his maturity.

Growing man- an adult male who has not YET reached a level of development in his maturity. (combining the words “growing” and “man”)

Dog- a domesticated canid, bred in MANY varieties.

I’ve been studying the whole “b*tch” factor (no pun intended) for a few weeks now, trying to figure out why and how so many women started describing themselves as “b*tches.” I’ve prayed about it as well. I know you expect me to tell you that you shouldn’t call yourself a “b*tch” because it’s not a “nice” word. I won’t be stating that today. I’m not here to judge your decision to do it as much as I’m here to expose some reasons why you do it. Now, I normally avoid the word “you” in my conversations, blogs and posts, if any of YOU have ever noticed; it’s a “social work” thing, I guess and that’s who I am, but today, I will have to use the word “you” a lot so please don’t be offended. I can’t relate to the word “b*tch” so I can’t say “we” however, I do understand some things that WE all go through that COULD lead us to changing our “names and identity.” I’ve had things to happen to me that COULD have taken my identity too; however, I can’t use the word “we” because I made a choice to remain “Jewel” even when everything in me wanted to be a b*tch WITH an attitude. Also, for those who refer to your friends or self as “b*tch,” let me also say that I come in love; my objective is to bring understanding. If you call yourself ANYTHING, you want to know why you’re giving yourself that name. My first thoughts, when I started working on this, were, “No woman, in their right mind, would ever want to be a “female dog.” I graduated from that thought and my second thought was, “Well, maybe these are women who have been hurt so many times by “men” that they labeled “men” to be dogs and in return have decided THEY’LL be the “man” and be a dog TOO! THEN, I said, “IF they want to be “the man,” WHY in the WORLD would they choose to be LIKE the one who hurt them?? Why not be the “good” man that they feel they deserved?” My final conclusion/revelation was all of the above and MORE. Everything about the word “b*tch” just screams “ANGRY.” That’s not the issue; we all get angry. The issue is we “swap” out the word “angry” with “bitter and too proud to admit that I’m hurt.” This is where the “b*tch” is birthed (no pun intended.) Here are a few reasons why a woman calls herself a b*tch:

• She is angry and refuses to let her anger get the “best of her” so she lets it get…” the REST of her.”
• She doesn’t feel loved or flattered: Women like to feel loved and they love to be flattered with compliments. However, if a woman is lacking in love for herself, because she doesn’t know how to love herself the right way, “b*tch” is a strong word that makes her feel powerful. B*tch is term with a negative meaning but woman use it as a term of “endearment.” She doesn’t know what is to be “endeared.” If a woman calls herself a b*tch, it makes her feel different, it flatters her and makes her feel as though she stands out from the rest. When a woman gets to the point where she feels unloved or disrespected by the opposite OR same sex, she might give herself the “title” of “b*tch;” if THIS is not enough and when she discovers that she’s not the only “b*tch,” she will add a title to that name; she might call herself the “HEAD B*tch.” The definition says that (female) dogs (b*tches) are produced in MANY varieties so once this is discovered by the woman who’s ACTING like a dog, she will attach the word “head” to “b*tch” to feel superior.
• Calling herself a “b*tch” makes a woman feel superior…NOT to other women but to MEN who they feel have hurt them. It’s a subliminal message for the MEN but she will often say it to other women as an intimidation tactic…ALL while hoping a man hears it and knows that she can do “it” better than him. She may announce that SHE is the “head B” in the presence of other woman to “mark” territory that she feels she can’t conquer unless she marks it. She’s tried marking it with “love” before and that didn’t work.
1. Some women simply call themselves b*tches to fit in; everyone else is doing it so she wants to do it too. This woman is weak and…she STILL doesn’t fit in because she’s not even a real “b*tch.” She doesn’t have her own identity.

Myths:
• The first myth is: “I am the HEAD B*tch!” This is false; no you are not. LOL! There are at least 1,000 others who’ve given themselves that name and crown of “thorns.” NOW that we know the definitions, saying, “I’m the head b*tch” is equivalent to saying, “I am the FIRST last!” That makes about as much sense as it looks.

• Myth: Being a “bitch” gets you respect! You don’t need love!” This is false…both parts of it. It won’t get you respect. It only gives you a “name” that you didn’t even work for. Nobody “crowned” you “Queen b*tch;” you just gave yourself that name. You do need love and only God can fill your void. You are in need of love and you DO want it. You’re just trying to love “yourself” and that’s hard to do without a GODLY revelation of who you are. The bible talks about a virtuous woman and says that her children will rise up and CALL her “blessed.” When you have any title, you either work for it or someone gives it to you…after noticing your works. If you are named a “b*tch” by your peers, it won’t be because they want to “endear” you.
• Myth: “If I call myself a “b*tch,” HE will know that I mean business and I don’t play!” This is false; if you call yourself a “b*tch,” he will k now that you are just what the definition says: a loud, wicked woman. You don’t mean business and you DO play. “Serious” people don’t live in “fantasy” world. Calling yourself the “Queen B” is a fantasy; if you choose to be a b*tch, adding the word “queen” to it is just an illusion to make you feel superior to other women who also call themselves b*tches. Some men will go for the b*tch type (I am not calling you a b*tch…just using YOUR words). If he goes for that type of “thing,” you all may get along just fine until he decides he wants the “REAL QUEEN B.” We’ll discover who “she” is later. He might also stay around if he senses that you are not really a b*tch but you’ve just been hurt and he thinks he can heal you.

• Myth: B*tch gives you the UPPER hand on men who don’t treat women right. This is false. B*tch is not the “female version” of a “growing man.” Now, a “growing man” is what you may refer to as a “dog.” MEN are NOT dogs; there are “growing men” and there are “grown men,” (something about the words “grown” and “man” together just make me SMILE! I digress…)” If you CHOOSE a man before he’s fully grown, he’s a growing man...NOT a dog and NOT a boy. In order to have the “upper hand” on him or get back at him for hurting you, you would have to be a “lady…” this is hard for a b*tch to do (no pun intended.) It’s impossible to be a “lady” and a “b*tch at the same time. #ladyandthetramp. Being a “b*tich” is YOUR label and it only says to the world, “I am a “growing woman” who couldn’t handle being hurt so I changed my whole identity.

• Myth: Attaching the word “queen” to b*tch means I’m the head. This is false. This is a “fairy tale” that you’ve created. A Queen is all BUT a “b*tch.” The word “B*tch” itself SUBMITS and bows down to the word “Queen.” You can’t be both. If you want to be a “b*tch” it’s an illusion to attach the word “queen” to it.

• Last but not least…the biggest myth is: “I am a b*tch.” This is false; you are not a b*tch. It’s easier to give yourself a name versus spending time with God to discover who you really are and FORGIVNG the one (s) who has hurt you. Every time you call yourself a b*tch, you are being a liar and a coward. When you call yourself a b*tch, the REAL “QUEEN B’s” KNOW that you are really a scared “growing woman” who’s afraid to be a lady.

So, what do we do with all of this? This is not a “stop the b*tching” blog; this blog is about an identity crisis that has gone on for so long, society doesn’t know where to start. Let’s go back to the beginning but we’ll end there because that’s all we need to know: who are we, women? Any female is a “women” but not every female is a “lady.” The bible takes it a step further. It says in Proverbs 31 that the “Queen B” is a virtuous woman. Who is the REAL Queen B? The real Queen B is called “QUEEN BEAUTIFUL.” The bible says that a virtuous woman is costly and her husband can trust her with his heart. It says that she knows that her “merchandise” is good (my favorite part of that text) and when she opens her mouth, wisdom comes out and her tongue is the LAW of kindness. This is important because its saying not only is she wise but she is the WAY of wisdom. THEN, it says, MANY women have been virtuous but her virtuosity exceeds them ALL; this speaks about her confidence in herself. LADIES don’t have to give themselves titles. Those who meet them already know who they are; she confirms it when she speaks.
So, now we know who the REAL “QUEEN B’S” are but we’re not “b*tches!” The ONLY “Queen B’s are those who KNOW that they are beautiful. From one “Queen Beautiful” to the NEXT, know who you are. If you STILL choose to call yourself a “b*tch,” at least you know, now what you’re calling yourself. Knowledge is power so please know that you may still call yourself a b*tch but you will think twice about it. At least that’s a start.

Until we eat again… " -Jewel Moore
 
CHECK OUT JEWEL'S PAGE ON FACEBOOK HERE
 
Please share this with every woman you know! This is TOO good to keep silent. Thanks again, Jewel!!!! ~Nina

FOR MORE GOOD READS, CHECK OUT THE REST OF THE GUEST BLOGGERS HERE!!!

WANT TO BE A GUEST BLOGGER? NO PROBLEM, JUST LET ME KNOW!

Tuesday, April 2, 2013

Just JESUS

Sometimes no words are needed because calling on the name of
 
is enough. His name holds absolutely EVERYTHING we need. Whenever you don't know what to do, what to say, which direction to turn in, or where you should go, just call on the mighty name of Jesus and wait on him to come through. Sometimes its a simple as that.
THERE IS POWER IN THAT NAME!!!!
 


Monday, April 1, 2013

JUST GET STARTED! (Are YOU down?)


EARLIER TODAY:
So, on my quest towards becoming financially free and healthy, I am controlling my spending, paying OFF my credit cards (read my blog post from earlier about it HERE), AND getting SOME form of exercise in. Honestly speaking guys, there is no excuse why "we" shouldn't be FREE all around- financially, mentally, physically, emotionally, and spiritually. I just walked around my office complex and talked to God for the $FREE.99....lol! No gym, no trainer, no exercise DVD, nada. God even gave me something while i was walking that may help those who struggle with "just getting started" like I did at which I will share soon. LETS GET IT FAM!!!! #prayforme #striving #healthierlifestyle #freedom #enjoyingme




THIS JUST IN:
Well, here you have it! This is what I have named the 1,2,3,4 Exercise Plan, better known as JUST GET STARTED! Its kind of funny to me that "I" would post something like this, lol, but our plans are certainly not God's, huh? Lol! Anywho, doing something is better than doing nothing! This is for those, like me, that may struggle a bit with just getting started. Sure, there are thousands of plans like this & some people may even laugh at the "simplicity" of the plan, nevertheless, this could possibly help at least ONE person get the boost they need towards a healthier lifestyle!

If you will be joining me, comment here, send me a FB message (Shenina Brown), or email me at sheninabrown@yahoo.com for support! As always, make sure you choose healthier food options (instead of a large fry, be content with a small, etc.) and drink at least 1-4 more bottles/cups of water & eat 1-4 more pieces of fruit/veggies daily than you normally would. Getting started is the hard part but when we realize just how valuable our life is and how worthy we really ARE, we will be motivated to strive towards excellence in EVERY area!

*DISCLAIMER: I am not a licensed Physician, Doctor, or Therapist, therefore, exercise and consume food at your own risk! This was something that the Lord gave "ME" and I wanted to share it with hopes of helping someone else. Please be sure to give your body a day or two to rest each week. This is simply one, of many ways to JUST GET STARTED!* :-) ~Nina #exercise #simple #healthy #life #God #prayerchangesthings #speaklife #exerciseplan #moveyourbody #justgetstarted #youcandoit #encouragement

Step awayyyyyy from the credit cards!

Okay, okay....the title of this post has me tickled, but its the truth. So, without going into major details, I have a bit of credit card debt, YES, credit card debt! Though I only have 2 major cards & 1 department store card, they are still not paid off in full and because of that, I am currently paying on them monthly. Anytime you owe someone, regardless of what it is, then you are technically in debt because you have not totally paid off your balance with them (and lets not even talk about student loans....ugh, lol, but even those WILL be paid OFF in due season :-) ) but okay, back to the post.....
 
 
Sometimes I want to just bop myself upside the head for even getting a credit card in the first place. Even after they told us NOT to get swindled in after high school, I still took it upon myself to apply and of course, I was approved, lol. Now, I've had a line of credit open for years now and though I was very cautious of my spending in the beginning, I got carried away at some point during my time of being a credit card holder which is causing me to pay more back now. As the saying goes, you can't cry over spilled milk and that is true so......I'm doing the RIGHT thing by not ignoring my creditors and paying these darned bills (takes a deeeep, heavy sigh).
 
 
Word from the wise.....do not go out and make bills for yourself that you can't responsibly handle or ones you know you can't pay back in full within a month's time. While having a credit card isn't a bad thing, if you're not careful, it can cause more harm than good down the road. Because I desire to be debt free and not carry any additional financial struggles into my future marriage, it is imperative that as a single person I do everything in my power to resolve my financial issues NOW. Its not fair to my future husband to help me pay bills that "I" irresponsibly accumulated. So ladies & gents, pay those bills off! Don't ignore the creditors when they call. Even if its not alot, just let them know you may be experiencing difficulty paying and make sure that you pay something even if its just $20. We can't believe God to work a miracle and work out our debt if we aren't willing to at least try and do the same.
 
Instead of trying to keep up with the latest fashions, buy the newest pair of heels, and indulge in a lifestyle you can't afford, BUY WITHIN YOUR MEANS. Everything that you CAN buy shouldn't be bought, especially if you're trying to become financially free. Its so not cute to be fabulous on the outside but straight up struggling on the inside- struggling to pay your rent, car note, baby's day care, you don't have food in your house, etc.....but you' cute though???? Um, no maam, Pam! NOT!
 
 Start saving more, sacrifice going out, sacrifice eating out, and try to find a side job (hustle, lol) where you can legally earn additional income to help you. Every little bit counts. I'm still getting better and though I despise the thought of some of the situations I've allowed myself to get in financially, I still feel awesome and am extremely grateful that I'm in a position where I'm ABLE to pay off my debts and build my credit score. Even before I get the husband, "I" want to be able to get a nice house, a nice car, and nice things (at which I will get) ON MY OWN!!!!
 
So I'm on a mission to become DEBT FREE and plan to pay off at least one, if not more, of my credit cards this year. I truly count it all as lessons learned and I know that one of the greatest feelings ever is to experience financial PEACE. If you get the urge to apply for credit cards & you know you won't be able to pay them 100%, then I would advise you to step awayyyyyyyy and go exercise that urge off..................or something, lol!!!!!!
 
~Nina