Yep, he once had alllllllllllllllllllllllllllll of my heart! Its a shame that through everything we've experienced, he still has yet to come around. I truly want the best for him and wish him the absolute best life has to offer. Though I always "thought" he'd get it together, in the back of my mind I knew he wasn't ready. Pressuring him to do something he didn't want to do and be someone he's not was my fault! I held on to alot of false promises and big dreams only to get disappointed every time. But yet and still, through the hurt, pain, smiles, etc., I STILL see the best in him. At one point & time, he could have had it all---I mean ALL, even the God that was in me. I was so intrigued by his intelligence-smart as whip, demeanor-great, confidence-through the roof, and swagg- turned all the way up... that I couldn't see the SON anymore because I was blinded by HIM. Whatever he wanted, I gave. Whatever he needed, I provided. Whatever he asked for, I made it so.The best thing he could have ever done for me was treat me the way he did. Was he just a monster? No. He was actually very kind, cool, and collective and he taught me alot about myself & life. He just needs to get it together even more and find out what it is he really wants. As bad as I'd love him to apologize, realize he messed up, and tell me that I'm the best thing that ever happened to him besides God.....I know those confessions may never come 100%. If I could tell him just one thing right now, it would be: YOU ALWAYS ASKED WHY I STILL WANTED TO BE APART OF YOUR LIFE AFTER EVERYTHING YOU PUT ME THROUGH, AND TRUTHFULLY SPEAKING....ITS BECAUSE I SIMPLY.....LOVE YOU.
Thanks for reading.....
WOW!!! When I tell you that this is my mini life story LOL This very thing was something that I struggled with for the longest time. But I thank GOD for emotional healing and a heart to forgive. Everything that you have posted and I mean EVERYTHING was what i went through and said at one point or another but in the end I had to accept that he wasn't a part of God's plan for my life. And now GOD has put someone in my life who I couldn't have asked for anything better. Do I still struggle with the emotions sometimes? YES (and I hate them emotions actually lol) but I know all that is covered under the blood of Jesus. Thanks for this post girl cuz I just had a moment right before I saw that you had posted this :-)
ReplyDeletePrecious, praise God! And I'm not telling you to praise God because all is WELL, but I'm telling you to praise God because he showed you in the nick of time! I too thank God for emotional healing because if it hadn't been for him, I'd still be wretched MESS girl, lol. God does everything for a reason, especially taking those people that we thought we'd never live without from us. He had to literally show me just how "deep" the situation really was. I am yet praying for that one person that God will allow to come into my life, and I'm so happy that you are happy! I still bless the Lord for what he did, is doing, and what he will do! IT IS WELL in my soul! Thanks for commenting & being a constant support beautiful. I really appreciate it :-)
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