EMPTY

Today, I just don't know. I think I went to bed last night with a lot on my mind and woke up this morning with a lot on my mind. Even through my prayer to God this morning, I felt as if I just couldn't get "to" him. On facebook, I wrote a status about "choices" and that we can choose the outcomes of how we feel today. Though it encouraged me with hopes to know that it prayerfully encouraged at least one person, I still feel just a bit empty. It has nothing to do with others, but it does have everything to do with me. Daily, I pray that God will change the way I view certain things, basically to renew my mind and spirit. I do most of my work, whether it be with school, helping others, work through my businesses, etc. on the computer, so that's where I spend most of my day. Though I don't physically come into contact with a lot of people everyday, I do in fact come in contact with them virtually, and sometimes you can "feel" the next's pulse through their conversations and their posts via facebook, email, etc. SO, it can all sometimes be a bit much. I've gotten much better at not carrying other people's burdens on my shoulders, yet they seem to "magically" appear in my thoughts.

Even as to now, I'm looking out the window and its GORGEOUS outside, more than enough reason to make you just want to get up, get out, and do something, lol. BUT, I'm sitting here empty. I'm not depressed...I'm not mad....sad...nor angry, its just that I feel a bit empty and sometimes long for another person to speak LIFE into me! I try my best to do that to other people, and I'm not sure if people feel I "have it all together" or what, lol, but that is certainly not the case! You know, I too need that motivation and encouragement that I give so freely and sincerely to others. At the same time, I know that if I continue to wait on others to encourage me, I may very well be waiting forever, lol. So the song is certainly true, sometimes you just have to "ENCOURAGE YOURSELF"...but darn that sometimes, lol. I sometimes feel as if I'm not even strong enough to do that. Don't get me wrong, I certainly know how to get to God.....but it just feels good when an encouraging word is spoken over and into your life by someone else of like faith & relationship with God.

I'm really not sure if "empty" is the terminology I need to use to describe how I feel, but its the first thing that popped in my mind. For when you're empty, you have nothing inside and I know that's not the case. I guess its just one of those BLAH days for me that I've written about many times, lol. But one thing that remains TRUE....God is STILL worthy of the praise, honor, & glory! So I must press through these moments and know that everything is already alright! Thanks for reading....