Well, its going on 3 a.m. and I'm up again "thinking". I truly thank God for the connections that I have made on Facebook alone because some of them have truly helped me get over some humps along the way. Now on to my thoughts....lol.
What do you do when God continuously shows you that a particular person is not for you, yet & still you try to be a friend to them? I know it may sound as if I can truly answer that question myself, at which I can, but I'd love feedback on it. Friends support one another through the thick and the thin. I'm almost 30 years old and I can count on ONE hand how many people I call my "friend". I barely like to use the word because I haven't had good experiences with people who I thought were my friends because they truly let me down. I know in order to make friends, one must first show themselves friendly. Truthfully speaking, I have not been the best of the best friend to some people either. I have my faults and flaws as well, and I'll admit that, but one thing that remains factual is that I will do my best to be the support & encouragement that they need. Since I've grown older and have now gotten a sense of who I am and what I like to do, I've found out that I communicate better through the computer, just as some do via text or maybe even in person. When I don't feel like being bothered, I just don't feel like being bothered. No harsh feelings, its just that I enjoy having my "space". Even with that, I know it doesn't qualify me to be in the "dog house" for being a bad friend.
I'm not even sure that I can call those who are still in my space a friend. Some are just really awesome associates. Because of my past experiences, I have my guard up and vowed to myself that I would never allow anyone to get close & then hurt me like some people have previously done. It wasn't until recently that I started allowing people in my life because I know that God wouldn't want me to be lonely, friendship wise & relationship wise. Friends.....how many of us have them? Friends.....ones we can depend on? Lol! I just pray that God continues to show me those who are indeed for & against me. Lord, I know I'm not perfect and if I'm not supposed to be in someone's life or even if I'm a hindrance, I ask that you remove ME from the equation so that they can live happily on. I don't need that extra stress and drama, that's why I keep to myself and stay in my own lane. One thing I know for sure is that God will never leave his children in the dark. Listen to those gut feelings. He has been telling me things all along & even showing me signs, but its "me" who is being hardheaded. I just want to make the right decision concerning breaking off ties with this friend. Lord, I need you....work on me.
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